A Journey Begins With One Step

      It’s been really hard the past few days. Was in the hospital last week with a minor skin infection, and i discovered i am no longer borderline diabetic but mildly diabetic. i now have to take my sugar and watch what i eat. that means a lot of the food i love must be limited now. am having a much harder time with the changes than i should.

i’ve been struggling with depression for a long time anyway, looking for reasons to hope, to go on, to be happy. i just don’t know what my place in the world is anymore. ive been a mother for so many years that i have no idea how to be just me at this point. i need a new purpose, new goals, things to look forward to. maybe i can start with the little things i love, that give me pleasure and expand that later to people.

that will be the hardest. i just don’t trust many people, and i have such little self esteem that i have trouble believing that others love me. have a long way to go.