A lot more has been going on concerning the last subject I wrote about. Not certain how much to say about it here, because I am not sure who might be able to find this blog and read it. I am trying to tread very lightly, not only because of other people, but also because I don't trust MYSELF. Am beginning to think and feel things I told myself I would NEVER let myself even CONSIDER ever again! Is not pleasant let me tell ya. But then of course it IS too. Do I sound like a total nut yet? It's so hard. I am far too old to act like this. But then, they always say, you are never too old.
Don't know what else I can say at this point, really. I just wish I knew how much of all this is actually real, and how much of it is wishful thinking. I also would like to know where that wishful thinking is coming from. Does it all simply stem from the fact that I have been so lonely for so long, or is it something a bit more substantial and real? I am not sure at all which answer I would be comfortable with. If it is all being fabricated by a desperate, deprived heart than it might be much easier to get rid of, but then do I really WANT to get rid of it? Ok, honesty time-I DON'T. It feels too good. I will NOT, repeat, NOT get too hung about it though.
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