The Systematic Destruction Of A Person

      Have been experiencing a really rough time lately.  My last post was premature at best.  Anthony's job hasn't panned out, and I have been made to jump through all kinds of hoops to get mine started.  They have asked me to come in 3-4 times now to do things that at other jobs I could have done all at once, and now I have to wait until a date opens up for orientation.  It's just so frustrating.
     Worse-H has been back to his old tricks.  Every day is yet another exercise in "let me tell you why I think you are such a screw up."  He rarely speaks to me without complaining about something I have or have not done, and when that is insufficient, he gripes about ways he thinks I let OTHERS take advantage of me.  He tells me that I should stand up for myself, say no to them while basically ordering me to kiss HIS ass and do what I am told without complaint.  Of course he expresses this paradox without a trace of irony.
     Yes, I am on my period again, and my hormones are going crazy, but I am just so damn tired.  It's exhausting trying to hold on to hope and self-esteem when you have someone who every day does all they can to destroy it and make you feel worthless.  At this moment if you asked me if I want to just die, get it over with, rest and be at peace, I would say yes.