I think I really mean it this time

     One step forward and two steps back.  Rest of the week a washout.  I have to get moving.  I am tired of hurting, not being able to do all I want without pain, and I want to wear cute clothes, be pretty.  is just so hard though.  all the negativity I have around me.  H is like a constant storm cloud overhead and the money situation is dire.  In addition, almost every one I know is in the same position, and there are several seriously ill or have had family members ill.  Bob is gone mentally, one friend at church is dying, another is close to it. others have been in and out of the hospital.  it's awful.  maybe it's my age.  me and my friends aren't young anymore.  just have to keep going I guess, make the most of things.  I must shake this feeling of hopelessness.