A lot more has been going on concerning the last subject I wrote about. Not certain how much to say about it here, because I am not sure who might be able to find this blog and read it. I am trying to tread very lightly, not only because of other people, but also because I don't trust MYSELF. Am beginning to think and feel things I told myself I would NEVER let myself even CONSIDER ever again! Is not pleasant let me tell ya. But then of course it IS too. Do I sound like a total nut yet? It's so hard. I am far too old to act like this. But then, they always say, you are never too old.
Don't know what else I can say at this point, really. I just wish I knew how much of all this is actually real, and how much of it is wishful thinking. I also would like to know where that wishful thinking is coming from. Does it all simply stem from the fact that I have been so lonely for so long, or is it something a bit more substantial and real? I am not sure at all which answer I would be comfortable with. If it is all being fabricated by a desperate, deprived heart than it might be much easier to get rid of, but then do I really WANT to get rid of it? Ok, honesty time-I DON'T. It feels too good. I will NOT, repeat, NOT get too hung about it though.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
"Teenage Dream"
Am going to have to be pretty coy in this post for obvious reasons. Other people may not know what I am talking about here, but I will, and that's enough. I just have to write this down, so I won't forget it. Sometimes someone just says or does something that makes you feel so good, so happy. And for someone my age, it rolls back the years so that for at least a brief period of time, it's like you are a teenager again. It doesn't even matter if that person might have just been joking around (not done in cruelty, but in harmless fun). That warm, fuzzy feeling is still there. Makes me want to exercise for hours a day and get skinny lol. Only one problem-what if that person is NOT joking; what if they are serious (I doubt it)? THEN we might have some complications here lol.
This is "all I've got to say about that"
This is "all I've got to say about that"
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Facebook Drama Part Two
Have received support about what I said on facebook to a greater extent than what I thought I would get. Not only did Linda support me, but she even POSTED about it. We had a long talk on the phone last night. She actually agrees with me on a great deal that is going on at the church, and it really surprised me. The only thing I can't figure out is why she continues to support pastor so wholeheartedly after all the things he is doing. I can understand supporting a CHURCH even if things aren't going the way they should because it is supposed to be about god instead of people, but I don't really get supporting a pastor if he is doing things wrong.
Now don't misunderstand me. I fully believe that people are a composite of both good and bad and that no one is perfect. but...if too many suspicious and/or somewhat dubious things are going on with a leader, maybe he doesn't deserve to be that leader anymore. But no, Linda's first instinct is to protect this man, keep some of the things she knows about him to herself and not tell anyone. She admitted this to me because she said that our former pastor told her some things about our current pastor which were pretty bad. So why are you protecting this guy then? But then it all depends on what those things are though. Everybody makes mistakes. If they cheat on their wife or something, that is a private matter that doesn't have anything to do with their ability to be a pastor as far as I am concerned. Now if they are accused of stealing money from the church or something...
Anyway, was nice to get some support from an unexpected source. She was in complete agreement with me about what happened basically except that she was pretty much putting the whole blame on the church member and giving pastor a pass. Well, he was the one who actively encouraged her to tattle, so he is just as guilty as far as I am concerned, maybe more so.
Enough though. Have devoted two posts on this-no more.
Now don't misunderstand me. I fully believe that people are a composite of both good and bad and that no one is perfect. but...if too many suspicious and/or somewhat dubious things are going on with a leader, maybe he doesn't deserve to be that leader anymore. But no, Linda's first instinct is to protect this man, keep some of the things she knows about him to herself and not tell anyone. She admitted this to me because she said that our former pastor told her some things about our current pastor which were pretty bad. So why are you protecting this guy then? But then it all depends on what those things are though. Everybody makes mistakes. If they cheat on their wife or something, that is a private matter that doesn't have anything to do with their ability to be a pastor as far as I am concerned. Now if they are accused of stealing money from the church or something...
Anyway, was nice to get some support from an unexpected source. She was in complete agreement with me about what happened basically except that she was pretty much putting the whole blame on the church member and giving pastor a pass. Well, he was the one who actively encouraged her to tattle, so he is just as guilty as far as I am concerned, maybe more so.
Enough though. Have devoted two posts on this-no more.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
I Stepped In It This Time
I log into my church facebook this morning (I have two, one for church people and one for my friends and family), and I see a post from someone complaining about other church members cursing. Fine, no problem there. It goes beyond that though. She gets into this exchange with pastor in which she offers to name names, tattle on all the church members on her buddy list she saw cursing, and...get this...HE TAKES HER UP ON IT!!! so she is going to email him, tell on everyone she saw cursing.
That's it, I swear. If Linda didn't still go to that church, I would be sooo out of there. It's getting pretty darn bad when you get church members tattling on each other every time someone does something they don't approve of. This isn't Nazi Germany!
I couldn't shut up this time. I am getting old enough now that I really don't much care what people think anymore. I didn't directly refer to the post in question, but I told everyone that I would no longer be posting there because I refused to have everything I say judged and critisized. Will be interested to see if anyone picks up on the fact that I was talking about them, and what they will say about it. Already had one FORMER church member message me with her support. And so it begins.
That's it, I swear. If Linda didn't still go to that church, I would be sooo out of there. It's getting pretty darn bad when you get church members tattling on each other every time someone does something they don't approve of. This isn't Nazi Germany!
I couldn't shut up this time. I am getting old enough now that I really don't much care what people think anymore. I didn't directly refer to the post in question, but I told everyone that I would no longer be posting there because I refused to have everything I say judged and critisized. Will be interested to see if anyone picks up on the fact that I was talking about them, and what they will say about it. Already had one FORMER church member message me with her support. And so it begins.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
That Was Intense
I don't know where that came from yesterday lol. Pretty vicious. Am feeling a bit more mellow today. Aww, the glories of hormones. Nothing much to report today except that I injured my bad knee last night pushing the basket of clean clothes into the bedroom so I could fold them (yep you heard that right folks lol). It still hurts this morning. I can barely walk on it. Every time something like this happens, I worry that it will be this way forever, and that I will NEVER be able to get in shape. Don't see how that could be possible from just pushing a clothes basket though.
They are screwing around with Jeannie's husband, Bob, coming up with excuses to keep him in the hospital longer. Today the excuse was that even though he saw the doctor like he was supposed to and the doctor said he could go home, he didn't sign the paper he needed to sign so Bob had to stay in there one more day until it was signed. dummies.
My stepmother called me and wished me a belated new year. Of course she fussed at me first because I didn't call THEM. They always expect me to call them. To be fair, though, it is usually them who ends up calling first. I guess I will be nice and try to make more of an effort (that new year's resolution-sigh).
That is about it. Question for today. After watching the delectable Robert in "The Pick Up Artist" last night, I have to ask: RDJ in his 20s or RDJ today? I present, YOU decide.
They are screwing around with Jeannie's husband, Bob, coming up with excuses to keep him in the hospital longer. Today the excuse was that even though he saw the doctor like he was supposed to and the doctor said he could go home, he didn't sign the paper he needed to sign so Bob had to stay in there one more day until it was signed. dummies.
My stepmother called me and wished me a belated new year. Of course she fussed at me first because I didn't call THEM. They always expect me to call them. To be fair, though, it is usually them who ends up calling first. I guess I will be nice and try to make more of an effort (that new year's resolution-sigh).
Monday, January 2, 2012
Today For Me, Tomorrow For You
Yes, "Rent" fans, I know I got that a little mixed up lol. Yesterday, I wrote about some of the things I wanted to do for me in the new year. Today, thought I would focus a bit on what I want for the world.
1. peace (that's a gimme)
2. Justin Beiber to disappear off the face of the Earth (that would be a public service trust me)
3. to see all the "faith fanatics" disappear off the face of the Earth-fundamentalist christians, that includes you too (yeah, I know, it ain't gonna happen)
4. Robert Downey Jr to pose nude (don't know about the rest of the world, but it sure would do ME a lot of good)
5. to see all the bat-shit crazy, completely out of touch, money grubbing, corporitist, rich worshiping, war-loving neocon scumbags drummed out of congress
6. along those same lines, to have Newt Gingrich shipped off to a concentration camp (the congress just voted to allow the military to detain US citizens indefinitely without a trial, so if it is good enough for the rest of us it sure is good enough for Newt.) Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Michelle Bachman, Dick Cheney, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Rupert Murdock and all those assholes at Fox News can join him.
7. America to wake up and join the rest of the civilized world in giving its citizens nationalized health care
8. a REAL progressive to run for president
9. for somebody to finish what FDR started and actually create a real social safety net for our citizens
10. for the rich to pay their fair share in taxes
11.for the poor to get a break for once
12. laws to stop corporations from buying our congress
13. laws that really protect the environment and the public from greedy corporations who abuse their employees, rip off consumers and poison the populace just so they can make a few more bucks
14. laws that keep religious nuts out of people's wombs and their bedrooms, that give consenting adults the right to decide how many kids they will have and when and allow them to marry whoever the fuck they choose
15. and while I am dreaming, get rid of all those crappy, idiotic reality and religious shows. Maybe we could give a show to somebody like Richard Dawkins instead so that the american people could learn about science and facts instead of abusing your body for cash, debating whether or not Kim Kardashian's ass is real and how the big, invisible sky daddy wants you to send more money to Pat Robertson.
Guess my list is somewhat like his
1. peace (that's a gimme)
2. Justin Beiber to disappear off the face of the Earth (that would be a public service trust me)
3. to see all the "faith fanatics" disappear off the face of the Earth-fundamentalist christians, that includes you too (yeah, I know, it ain't gonna happen)
4. Robert Downey Jr to pose nude (don't know about the rest of the world, but it sure would do ME a lot of good)
5. to see all the bat-shit crazy, completely out of touch, money grubbing, corporitist, rich worshiping, war-loving neocon scumbags drummed out of congress
6. along those same lines, to have Newt Gingrich shipped off to a concentration camp (the congress just voted to allow the military to detain US citizens indefinitely without a trial, so if it is good enough for the rest of us it sure is good enough for Newt.) Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Michelle Bachman, Dick Cheney, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Rupert Murdock and all those assholes at Fox News can join him.
7. America to wake up and join the rest of the civilized world in giving its citizens nationalized health care
8. a REAL progressive to run for president
9. for somebody to finish what FDR started and actually create a real social safety net for our citizens
10. for the rich to pay their fair share in taxes
11.for the poor to get a break for once
12. laws to stop corporations from buying our congress
13. laws that really protect the environment and the public from greedy corporations who abuse their employees, rip off consumers and poison the populace just so they can make a few more bucks
14. laws that keep religious nuts out of people's wombs and their bedrooms, that give consenting adults the right to decide how many kids they will have and when and allow them to marry whoever the fuck they choose
15. and while I am dreaming, get rid of all those crappy, idiotic reality and religious shows. Maybe we could give a show to somebody like Richard Dawkins instead so that the american people could learn about science and facts instead of abusing your body for cash, debating whether or not Kim Kardashian's ass is real and how the big, invisible sky daddy wants you to send more money to Pat Robertson.
Guess my list is somewhat like his
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Welcome 2012
A new year! I hope that it will all prove to be as pleasant as the last evening of the previous one. Went over to Jeanne's house and had a movie musical marathon. We watched "Xanadu" then "Grease" before tuning into the festivities at Time Square to see Lady Gaga push the button to start the ball dropping accompanied by a great, totally bad for me snack of fritos in dip lol. Very nice. Enjoyed it immensely.
Okay-New Year's resolutions?
1. EXERCISE and EAT BETTER
2. spend plenty of time with friends including contacting those out of state more
3. take care of myself (dress well, jewelry, makeup, perfume, etc)
4. get a job?
5. get my house together
6. sing
7. be more positive about my life and about other people
8. read, write, listen to music, and watch movies frequently
9. make Robert Downey Jr leave his wife and marry me (okay-just kidding about that one-or AM I? lol)
Here's a video to set a vibe for the entire year, I hope.
Okay-New Year's resolutions?
1. EXERCISE and EAT BETTER
2. spend plenty of time with friends including contacting those out of state more
3. take care of myself (dress well, jewelry, makeup, perfume, etc)
4. get a job?
5. get my house together
6. sing
7. be more positive about my life and about other people
8. read, write, listen to music, and watch movies frequently
9. make Robert Downey Jr leave his wife and marry me (okay-just kidding about that one-or AM I? lol)
Here's a video to set a vibe for the entire year, I hope.
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