Thursday, May 4, 2017

The Selfish Gene

an issue i’m struggling with is the balance between taking care of myself and others. i have a hard time saying no to people even if i really don’t want to do what they’ve asked. as a result, i always end up feeling resentful. i question myself too, always wonder if i’m being selfish by not wanting to agree to their request or if i’m merely practicing self care.
it’s a difficult thing to determine. i can only take it case by case, try to balance the need of the person asking and whatever need i have. it’s more muddied now because my anxiety disorder makes many situations frightening to me, and i want to say no even if i’m needed. i can’t let my fears cripple me, especially if someone asks for help, but at the same time, don’t i have a right not to be scared all the time? not easy.

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