Moving On

     I am not sure if I've made an entire post about this before (probably), but I feel compelled to write once more, hopefully for the last time.  I can't promise though, because I never seem to be able to follow through on ANYTHING. I always said the people I grew up with whined about their lives but did nothing to change it.  it appears I've become just like them, stuck in the same miserable rut yet not really attempting to move an inch.  here's hoping this is the first in a series of attempts to break that pattern forever.
     I met someone years ago during possibly the lowest point of my life whom i grew to believe was a good friend.  we spent time together, had fun, she helped me when i needed it and listened when i often needed to talk.  i didn't know that she has a huge savior complex.  she gravitates toward those who need her help and devotes all her energy to them-until she encounters someone MORE needy.  i was eventually replaced.  she started spending most of her time with someone else while i could barely get her on the phone.
     over the years things have only gotten worse because i also rejected the last thing that kept us connected-church.  to be fair though, by the time i quit going, her husband had been driving me instead of her for YEARS, and she usually didn't even sit with me during service.  i know she blames me; she has hinted at this, that i basically wanted a shoulder to cry on then abandoned her when that changed.  i might consider this if not for the fact that I have watched her follow the same pattern she followed with me not once, but three more times. she adopts someone who needs her help; they become inseparable, and then she tosses them aside for the next charity case.
     as ashamed as i am to admit it, i kind of turned into the person she accuses me of.  i don't call her often unless i need a ride somewhere.  i guess i just gave up on a more intimate friendship, figuring she would only spend time with me if i was in trouble and needed help.  in a way then, i suppose i gave her what she wants lol.  at any rate, i really did need a ride somewhere recently and she was, as usual, helping someone else out and too busy.  i can't do it any more.  maybe i will still contact her, but i really need to never ask for her help or to spend time with me ever again.  i will always be pushed aside for her newest project.  here's hoping i stick to it this time.  never again.