"From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—...." Edgar Alan Poe
I have never felt quite like other people, but lately, my "uniqueness" had been bothering me more than usual because people seem to be drawing my ATTENTION to it more often than usual.
Recently, I went down to Jeanne's with Katie to color Easter eggs. Sam was making a terrible mess, dipping her hands in the colors like a toddler, ruining them, and at one point eating french fries with those same hands she had just dipped in the food coloring, water and vinegar solution. perhaps I am much too anal, but I found it immensely silly and disgusting frankly. I got the distinct impression that I was judged for this, that I was thought of as weird because I was uncomfortable.
Allusions have also been made to my claustophobia and my intense love of the arts. I could tell the other night that my irritation at trying yet again to watch a show I had specifically been asked to come down and watch while everyone else was talking instead also received scrutiny.
all that to say this. I suddenly feel better about my weirdness, and predictably it is because of the arts. I am binge-watching "Friends" and the way people accept Monica's similar quirks even though she is occasionally teased good heartedly about it is like balm to my freaky little soul. I am much happier in my own skin. yes, people, I AM a Monica and I'm proud of it lol.
I have never felt quite like other people, but lately, my "uniqueness" had been bothering me more than usual because people seem to be drawing my ATTENTION to it more often than usual.
Recently, I went down to Jeanne's with Katie to color Easter eggs. Sam was making a terrible mess, dipping her hands in the colors like a toddler, ruining them, and at one point eating french fries with those same hands she had just dipped in the food coloring, water and vinegar solution. perhaps I am much too anal, but I found it immensely silly and disgusting frankly. I got the distinct impression that I was judged for this, that I was thought of as weird because I was uncomfortable.
Allusions have also been made to my claustophobia and my intense love of the arts. I could tell the other night that my irritation at trying yet again to watch a show I had specifically been asked to come down and watch while everyone else was talking instead also received scrutiny.
all that to say this. I suddenly feel better about my weirdness, and predictably it is because of the arts. I am binge-watching "Friends" and the way people accept Monica's similar quirks even though she is occasionally teased good heartedly about it is like balm to my freaky little soul. I am much happier in my own skin. yes, people, I AM a Monica and I'm proud of it lol.
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