It's A New Life For Me, And I'm Feeling Good

     Looking at my physical symptoms along with my general crabbiness, I am pmsing, but despite all that, I feel pretty good overall, better than I have in a long time.  maybe it is the slight improvement in the financial situation, but something seems to have changed.  I just need to work on my pms-induced lack of ambition, and get the things done that I need to do lol.
     The important thing is that I am shedding all the negativity, the pain, the fear, the anger that has kept me frozen in place.  It's a new day, a new me.  I feel ready to move forward.  all those in my life who wish to join me, I welcome it.  goodbye to anyone and anything that tries to keep me down or hold me back though.  If NO ONE comes with me, I can and WILL make it on my own.  "The cold never bothered me anyway."

                                                   

I'm Ok, You're Ok

                                                 "From childhood’s hour I have not been

                                                  As others were—I have not seen

                                                  As others saw—I could not bring

                                                  My passions from a common spring—

                                                  From the same source I have not taken

                                                  My sorrow—I could not awaken

                                                  My heart to joy at the same tone—

                                                  And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—...."  Edgar Alan Poe
      I have never felt quite like other people, but lately,  my "uniqueness" had been bothering me more than usual because people seem to be drawing my ATTENTION to it more often than usual.  
     Recently, I went down to Jeanne's with Katie to color Easter eggs.  Sam was making a terrible mess, dipping her hands in the colors like a toddler, ruining them, and at one point eating french fries with those same hands she had just dipped in the food coloring, water and vinegar solution.  perhaps I am much too anal, but I found it immensely silly and disgusting frankly.   I got the distinct impression that I was judged for this, that I was thought of as weird because I was uncomfortable. 
     Allusions have also been made to my claustophobia and my intense love of the arts.  I could tell the other night that my irritation at trying yet again to watch a show I had specifically been asked to come down and watch while everyone else was talking instead also received scrutiny.
     all that to say this.  I suddenly feel better about my weirdness,  and predictably it is because of the arts.  I am binge-watching "Friends" and the way people accept Monica's similar quirks even though she is occasionally teased good heartedly about it is like balm to my freaky little soul.  I am much happier in my own skin.  yes, people, I AM a Monica and I'm proud of it lol.