A real breakthrough

     I think I have made real progress.  This morning H did everything in his power to bring me down, to make me as miserable as HE always is.  This time I didn't take the bait.  I refused to get into a big long discussion about our financial situation which he had initiated for the sole purpose of getting me upset and worried. I simply said that we needed more money, and that to get more money someone would need to get a job-end of story.  after all, what else is there to say?  why draw it out?  like I said, he just wanted to upset me.  I won't do it anymore.  I am so proud of myself!

                                                     

I think I really mean it this time

     One step forward and two steps back.  Rest of the week a washout.  I have to get moving.  I am tired of hurting, not being able to do all I want without pain, and I want to wear cute clothes, be pretty.  is just so hard though.  all the negativity I have around me.  H is like a constant storm cloud overhead and the money situation is dire.  In addition, almost every one I know is in the same position, and there are several seriously ill or have had family members ill.  Bob is gone mentally, one friend at church is dying, another is close to it. others have been in and out of the hospital.  it's awful.  maybe it's my age.  me and my friends aren't young anymore.  just have to keep going I guess, make the most of things.  I must shake this feeling of hopelessness.