needless to say, i'm not doing well without katie. when she leaves and i can't contact her, i have panic attacks. i spoke to one of these so called friends about it, and while being sympathetic to my face, she told katie other things behind my back. she basically said i drove her crazy one day when i was particularly upset, and she continually encourages katie to leave me all together. she even tells ME some times that i basically need to just let go of EVERYONE, depend on no one but me etc etc etc. what have i done mainly for YEARS? i already know that no one gives a shit about me and so kept most of my problems to myself except when it got really bad. i suppose i did depend on katie too much because i had nobody else. but to expect a person to be entirely alone is too much. we are social creatures, and we don't do well in isolation. we are always going to be dependent upon others to some extent.
not much else to say. just feeling really betrayed, alone and pathetic right now. god if i only COULD shut off all emotion and not want anyone around.
